This is an excerpt from an E-mail I got from my little brother.
“ Maybe it's just the warrior part of me, or that hunter instinct I get, but I just don't get it. I try to avoid the urge to get something that launches an object, but sometimes, I feel like it's gotta be done.
Maybe you can put this issue into perspective for me, so that I can understand, and help Mom understand as well.”
Jonathan
Before I address your Email, let me tell you a story. It might help.
When I joined the Army I enlisted to be an Infantryman. At that time there were 4 specialties in the infantry category. When I signed up, I went to basic training unassigned. All I was guaranteed was Infantry School and Jump School.
There were 4 Infantry Military Occupation or Specialties when I went in. 11 series = Infantry
11 Bravo = Rifleman,11 Charlie = Mortar man,11 Hotel = TOW gunner,11 Mike = Bradley Driver
A few weeks before Infantry School was over they told us what specialties we were assigned. Because of my high test scores I was given an 11 Hotel slot. My official MOS was Heavy Anti Armor Weapons Infantryman. My job was to blow up Russian tanks with a missile.
This is the TOW system in portable mode. When I got to my unit in 87 we had them mounted on jeeps, about a year later we got Hummers.
The TOW missile is a Tube launched Optically tracked Wire guided missile. It fires a HEAT High Explosive Anti Tank round. We used the TOW II missile; it had a range of 3750 meters. The BGM-71 was launched out of the tube with approx 3800 meters of wire attached to it. The gunner’s job is to fire the missile and keep the cross hairs on the target. The MGS (Missile Guidance System) tells the missile where to go through the wires attached to it. It can take up to 10 seconds for the missile to reach the target so you have to be able to keep tracking it until the missile hits it.
When I showed up at my unit after I got my jump wings, my official designation was 11 Hotel 1 Papa, 11H1P. Heavy Anti-Armor Weapons Infantryman Enlisted Parachute deployable. The idea was to drop us and our vehicles ahead of Russian tanks so we could ambush them. I don’t know who was crazier, them for thinking that shit up or me for going along with it.
We were often referred to as smart infantry. Whereas most infantry soldiers are renowned for being physical, we were more cerebral. We had to pay attention to and stay on top of many things in different areas. Our toughness was displayed in the requirement to stay in one place for 10 seconds while our opponent was shooting everything they had at us to destroy us or make us miss.
The TOW round was very expensive and it was rare for us to get to fire one. But every once and a while a live round or two would show up for us to fire. Usually they would give the round to a new soldier, a distinguished performer, or a soldier about to leave.
This is a training record showing that I was one of the only 2 expert gunners in my unit that year.
My last jump with my unit before I left the Army was a jump into Ft. Bliss in El Paso Texas. We were going to be there for a few weeks and sure enough we were getting 2 live rounds to fire. I knew they were going to give me one. I was always one of the few expert Gunners and I was on my way out. When I found out I wasn’t going to get one I was so disgusted I didn’t even watch the rounds being fired. My enlistment was over about a month later.
2 years later while in the Illinois National Guard in Carterville Illinois. My unit went to Ft. Mc Coy in Wisconsin for our 2 week annual training and sure enough my unit was scheduled to fire 1 round. It wasn’t going to be a live one, it had its explosives removed, but it had everything else. Another soldier was scheduled to fire it. But he told them he didn’t want to. When I heard that I went to him and read him the riot act. How could he turn down a coveted TOW round? He just kept saying he didn’t want it. I don’t know if it was the pressure involved, there were going to be lots of Generals and big wigs watching. Or the danger, missiles had a tendency to explode in the tube. But he gave it up. I couldn’t believe it.
The afternoon before range day they gave it to me. The next morning was spent preparing for the shots. There were 2 rounds, my unit and another one was getting one. Factory technicians went through our equipment, testing and changing components. Lots of brass was around, this was big.
To tell you the truth I wasn’t nervous or excited at all. I was an expert gunner, which means I qualified on moving targets up to 3000 meters away. My target was a dead tank in the middle of an open field about 1800 meters away. No problem.
That’s exactly what I looked like, the exact same configuration.
When you push the trigger it starts a launch sequence. First the launch motor kicks the missile out of the tube, the fins pop out, and the drive motor ignites and rockets the missile down range. At the beginning of the sequence the launch tube and sights move around and your sight is obscured out because of the smoke. When the smoke clears you have to bring the crosshairs back onto the target, but you have to be smooth because you can over correct and lose the missile.
I pushed the trigger. I heard a huge BOOM on my right side. Everything in the lens turned white with smoke then cleared up. The tank was still in the sight but I had to slowly sweep the crosshairs back on the target. 4 seconds later I was completely surprised at how loud I and the rest of the crowd yelled as that round slammed dead center of that tank. It didn’t have a warhead so there was no fire ball but when that thing hit at almost supersonic speed it made a mess.
The dust cover with my name rank and position, lieutenant's name and date. I fired it on 26 June 1991.
I think the urge to send objects down range is more about proving to yourself that you can hit what you are shooting at than anything else. It re-affirms the fact that you have such control, knowledge and skill that you can see into the future. And know with almost certainty what is going to happen. You can look at something and say if I do this now this is going to happen later.
To be able to look at something a distance away and say you can affect it is the root of what a doer is. No matter what the objective is, whether it’s popping a tank at 2000 meters, reaching the top of a mountain or graduating from one of the most prestigious colleges 2000 miles away from home. The power of knowing you can hit your target is monumental.
Many young people have heard me preach this mantra over again. You are the sum of your experiences. That means your victories, your defeats, and all the lessons you learned as a result of them. The more victories you have the taller you stand and the taller you stand the harder it is to bring you down. You won’t win every battle, but the more battles you win make the losses less significant.
You rack up hundreds of victories every day. Just making it to school or work on time is a result of many victories, each one of them adding to the other. And the smaller victories lead to or add up to larger ones.
As a result of this, I think it is of utmost importance to acknowledge your victories and accomplishments. This gives you some understanding of what you can do and what targets you can hit. One of the things I did before I pushed the button on my launcher was I told the commander that the target was engageable. That meant I had gone through all of the weapon’s limitations and knew none of them applied. I knew I could hit the target because I had practiced on harder ones.
I think everyone should take the time to look at all of the targets they have hit in the past and the ones they hit every day. This will give them some idea of how well they can see into the future and what they can hit.
I hope this helps.
Trace
