Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Back to Zen



Riding this wave of new found energy and optimism about life, I took today getting some things back in order. I’ve been wrapping up more and more home projects as of late and each one makes another one more accessible or easier to wrap up. The more things I get off my plate the more room I have to work on the other things. As long as I keep other mounds off of it.

Many years ago I defined Zen as it relates to myself and my path. To me, Zen is the control of myself and my mind. The 4 pillars of Zen, for me, are Focus, Peace of Mind, Order and Simplicity.

Every now and then if you went through any of my writing pads you may come across the 4 circles. I would often remind myself of what I was trying to attain.

The idea is, the less I have on my plate, the more time, energy, and resources I can dedicate to master whatever I decide to. And then find that place that I’ve been searching for all of my life.

I will get there, I made it this far.

Gambate!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Heart


Today was the perfect day to begin blogging. At this point in my life I feel I have a multitude of things to talk about, share, and maybe help someone along the way. I decided to start my first blog post with Heart. This "thing" has been on my mind for the last few months in one way or another.

This will also be a good catalyst for introducing myself because it in many ways encompasses where I came from, what I'm dealing with today, and what I've dealt with all of my life.

A few months ago, I was diagnosed with an enlarged heart. It was the result of many years of dealing with high blood pressure. After the first round of tests and scans, the doctor explained that I had a weak heart, that’s why it had to grow to compensate.

A weak heart? Me?

Those words rang so wrong in reference to me. I’m the one that has shown nothing but heart for the last 42 years. From graduating from a Chicago high school that was a block away from what was once named the deadliest housing project in the United States, and taking 45 minute train ride to get to it. To joining the Army and being a paratrooper. Then graduating from one of the toughest programs offered at Southern Illinois University. While at SIU having to bounce back from a life altering, heart breaking accident. Now putting my name on the dotted line every day attesting to the safety and legality of the maintenance being performed on airplanes thousands of people fly on every day. All of this by myself, solo, with NO backup. Me? A weak heart?

To tell you the truth, for a while there I was starting to think maybe it was time for the Solosaurus to start winding down. I was starting to think that maybe I was running out of gas, that my turbine was starting to slow down.

Yesterday, one of my heart meds ran out. It was the one that stopped me from exorcising. Yesterday was another tug at my heart string from an external source. This morning I decided it was time to get back in the game. It was time for me to fight these heart issues, all of them, using the same “heart” I used to get me through every battle I’ve been in to date. These latest ones are no different.

It was time for me to take my first bike ride since I got diagnosed. I missed the reach the beach, 100 mile Portland to the coast ride a few weeks ago so I decided to reach the river.

Ten miles to the river from Monster Island.

A photo op with my rig at my usual stop across the river.

This is my usual destination when I ride the river. I usually spend at least 20 minutes here reflecting.

On my way back. My rest stop was behind the boats. Thats OMSI on the left. And in the distance, Oregon Sunshine.

Yeah, That kind!


Ten miles from the river back to the Island.

I felt great. I've lost a few pounds since the diagnosis and I could tell. The storm was just icing on the cake. That has been the story of my life, plowing through storms. And one of the things I've learned about storms is, they don't last forever.

Gambate!